The Final Update

Wow! I haven't posted in months and have debated deleting this blog on a number of occasions. In fact, I was in the middle to doing just that when the comments made me rethink that decision. Since I first started this blog, almost a year ago, I've been dealing with and trying to work through what I thought was silence. In the process, I've learned that it is much more than silence. Over the years, I have nearly perfected the craft of making myself virtually invisible. The urge to delete my web space was just one example but I realize that I've done this in almost all aspects of my real life - work, school, relationships, etc. At nearly 28 years of age, I've realized that I can no longer live this way but I've also discovered that it doesn't work. Just like my silence is sound, my attempt at invisibility stands out. It's time for something new. I've learned that people are going to think, say, and assume things about me. Period. So I may as well be me, let my thoughts be heard and my actions seen. It's time that I live out loud and in living color. So from here on out, you can find me here - Loud & In Living Color. My goal is to share something, however small, daily. (We'll see how that goes.) So if you've read or commented here, check out my new space periodically.

Before I go, I will give you a quick update on my "28 by 28."

First, I realized that I may have taken on too many things at once. However, it has taught me a little bit about how I handle things. After my apartment was broken into and I moved in with mom, I went into autopilot, only doing what was necessary - work, internship - to graduate and hitting the gym. Everything else kinda took a back seat. I've noticed the same type of pattern as I look for jobs and wait to here back from companies. I almost freeze or press pause on my life. So I'm trying not to do that. I've reevaluated the list because I only have 2 and a half months before my deadline. Here goes:

28 by 28

1. Complete my MEd program. DONE! with distinction and accomplished my 4.0 goal!
2. Pass the National Counselor Exam. - I will take the exam as soon as I can but I'm waiting on the state to review my application again.
3. Lose 20lbs more and keep it off. This is the hardest thing I've had to do. I haven't lost any more lately and actually gained a lot (to me). I'm back watching how I eat though. This has taught me how my emotions are tied to eating. I'm much more aware than I was. Even when I decide to gorge on chicken nachos or a ridiculous mix from Cold Stone, I know why. One day I'll actually stop myself. Next goal?
4. Maintain a workout regimen. When I'm not in freeze mode, I actually do this but when I'm in freeze mode I can go weeks without seeing a gym.
5. Try meditation. Haven't done this seriously. I was in the middle of setting up a space in my home when I had to move. Haven't gotten back to it yet.
6. Visit Canada. Um, I don't think this is going to happen. I realized that I had already been to Canada to see Niagara Falls when I visited Cornflake Girl. My only reason for going was to have been to all the countries in North America. So, I may make it or I may not. No biggie.
7. Apply/Be prepared to apply to doctoral programs. - Reevaluating... - I'm not ready yet. I want to work in my field for a bit. And decide what I want to do. Plus with the economy, funding is uncertain. So we will see.
8. Participate in an AIDS Walk/Run. Got a flyer to train for the marathon or a half-marathon. Don't think I'm ready. I don't run, outside! So, I actually signed up for the Chicago AIDS Walk/Run months ago. Then I decided that I wanted to move to DC. So I haven't solicited funds because I was hoping that I would have made the move by then - October 3. There is one in DC on the same day. Either way, I hope to run in one of them. Yes, I said run. Still haven't run outside yet. I will decide which one after I hear back from the last job interview that I had. Then I will hit you up for donations! :)
9. Color my hair. I cut it! - Not gonna color it. I loved the look but not the dryness and damage from the last time I colored it. It's so short now and my main goal is longer, stronger curls. So no color. For now.
10.Travel outside of North America. Done. See pictures. Thanks Kismet. Probably wouldn't have done it without you.
11. Take a dance class or 3. I took salsa and bellydancing classes. I've been putting off more pending the move.
12. Perfect 28 new dishes. I don't really know what is going on with this. I've tried a lot of new dishes with the vegan thing and dieting. I'm loving cooking more beans and vegetables. I'm not counting. Just learning to cook better food and make better eating choices.
13. Create a professional website. - Actually working on it. Will launch within the next week or so. I need more professional looking pictures. Pre-club photos don't really match the look I'm going for. LOL.
14. Go to a play, museum or something artistic once a month. - Did I mention I put my life on pause a few times? I'm trying. Hit up a museum or two and a concert the last two months. Trying to keep it going.
15. Complete an art class. I haven't done this either with the potential move. As soon as that's settled, I'll take one but I'll settle for a one-day workshop or something.
16. Create a vision board. I finally did it. It took more time than I thought and turned out a lot different than I thought. I will post a pic on the new blog.
17. Skydive. - I still haven't done this. When I bring it up, folks say they'll go with me. So, I keep debating whether to get a group together or just go randomly by myself. Plus it's a nice chunk of change when I don't have any income but I'll do it by the deadline.
18. Call 1 friend per week. Um, yeah. This so hasn't happened consistently. Don't even know how I still have friends.
19. Take tennis lessons. I don't think I want to learn to play tennis. It was just an idea and I think it was linked to someone else who played and the fact that there were courts at my old gym. If I learn great, if I don't I'll live. I've been thinking about racquetball since they have courts at my new gym.
20. Volunteer for the hotline at least once a month. So haven't done this. Will do better.
21. Learn to swim. Haven't done this either. I do want to learn.
22. Teach myself sign language. I haven't done this either. My niece has taught me a few colors though. :) Love that little lady.
23. Attend one social event per month. (Thanks T.) Haven't paid attention but I think I have.
24. Dedicate one day per month to myself. (Thanks BL.) Somehow, someway, I've done this often, usually unintentionally.
25. Read half the books on my reading list. Um, yeah no. There is a TV in my bedroom at mom's house. So distracting and all of those books are packed away in the basement. Trying to make a dent in it though. Got a couple of them from the library.
26. Write a blog post at least once every two weeks. Clearly, this one was a wash. Gonna do better.
27. Treat myself to a makeover - hair, makeup, wardrobe. Um, I think I kinda did this. Might get some professional input soon. When I get some income, that is.
28. Create and stick to a realistic monthly budget. So haven't done this.
29. Study, read, blog, etc. in a public place at least once every two weeks. Um. Some weeks are better than others and what the hell type of goal is this away? Oh, I remember. I don't get stuff done at home.
30. Learn to let people go. This will always be a process. Think I'm getting better with it but I need to be more direct about it.

Growth is a continuous process. Hope you join me in my next phase.