Skinny Bitch?

I started the following draft in The Common Room about a month ago:

No, I have not turned into Monique! However, my friend may have created a monster just as bad with her very thoughtful Christmas gifts. One was a PostSecret book and if you don't know about PostSecret, you should. The other was a recipe book called Skinny Bitch in the Kitch: Kick-Ass Recipes for Hungry Girls Who Want to Stop Cooking Crap (and Start Looking Hot!). This description describes me to a T and appeals to my potty mouth so I see exactly why she picked this one up. So with categories like Bitchin' Breakfasts, PMS (Pissy Mood Snacks) and Down Home Cookin', I was excited to start cooking. Then, I started looking at the recipes. I saw a whole lot of soy, tofu and recipes with meats in quotation marks. Then I realized I was looking at a vegan cookbook. Now this same friend is always commenting on my "healthy" eating choices - no soda in fridge, my organic lactose free milk, my organic tortilla chips, fresh fruit in my water - but a vegan, I am not. I have toyed with the idea more than a few times but I'm still eating my chicken and turkey and drinking my lactose free organic milk. However, I thought that this gift just might help me make the adjustment. Then I realized that this recipe book is a follow-up book to Skinny Bitch, a book encouraging women to change their lifestyles. So I went out and bought Skinny Bitch too.

At that point, I was afraid to read the book. I talked to The Maven about it on Christmas Eve, wanted some BBG feedback on the vegetarian/vegan thing, and really wanted someone to read the book along with me, but I never got around to finishing the draft... Well over the last month, my weight has basically hit a plateau and I've been losing and gaining the same 2 pounds every other week. Then, it hit me. I never really changed what I was eating. I ate smaller portions and added healthy snacks to my diet but I basically ate the same stuff I always ate. I just stopped pigging out on it. That and almost daily exercise helped me to lose the first 20 pounds but it wasn't working any more. I decided it might be a good time to make some changes to my diet. Immediately. Monday night I requested the Fat Smash Diet and The 4-Day Diet from the library. Tuesday morning I realized I didn't want to wait on the library and ordered the books for myself. When the books didn't arrive quickly enough, I started reading Skinny Bitch on Thursday night. By Friday afternoon (after my breakfast/lunch), I was pretty sure I'd never look at a chicken wing or a slice of turkey bacon the same way. Saturday afternoon I was planning vegan meals and hitting Trader Joe's reading all of the labels. I now have soy cheese and milk, tofurkey, and tempeh in my fridge. I am channeling my inner Skinny Bitch, eating whole grains and veggies, and trying to give up animal products. I'm not sure how long it will last but I'm excited to eat better and take better care of myself from the inside out. I'm taking the Pledge to Be Veg for 30 Days! And we'll see what happens. Anyone wanna join me? Do you have pointers on making the transition easier?

I May as Well be 15...

So it's pretty clear that I just turned 27 but I might as well be 15 when it comes to dating. I haven't ever really dated. (The other night my girl told me that I am dating my friend, I just don't know it yet. Just because we go out to dinner every other month or so doesn't mean we're dating. Right?) Trust me, I am clueless when it comes to guys and what to do to show my interest. I know all the tips from the books, TV shows, and web articles but when it comes to putting it into action I am extra shy. I'm that girl who looks away immediately when eye contact is made and who can't think of a thing to say in a conversation. Did I mention I never call anybody, even my closest friends? So the new guy definitely doesn't get a call (ever) without a serious pep talk from my girls. So ladies I'm going to need some help getting it together.

Here's an example of one of my most recent mishaps to help you provide better advice.

Last Friday, I ran into a guy who b. swears "wants my body" after not seeing him for a month and a half. (I don't believe her but I think the guy is cool and I like talking to him.) So, we were in the same place. I saw him, but I didn't think he saw me. I continued doing what I was doing, hoping he would come over and talk to me but every time he walked past (from a distance), I was too nervous to look at him. So, I pretended to do something like adjust my ipod or take a sip of water. He disappeared for a while and I finished up what I was doing and prepared to leave. Then, I walked right into him. I said "hi" and he asked how I'd been. As I was taking a drink of water, I spilled water all down my chin. Embarrassed, I responded with my hand over my mouth. He mocked my jumbled and muffled attempt at conversation. So I laughed it off, took out my ear phones and repeated myself. We made brief small talk and I left. So, yes I kind of recovered but I was definitely embarrassed for a second. I even laughed at myself for being giggly like a little school girl and, I admit, it felt good. But what now? What do I do the next time I see him or another guy that piques my interest?

If only it could be this simple again...

Waiting on Your World to Change...

Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer

Two weeks ago, I attended a 30-hour training related to working with children who have been sexually assaulted or abused. Tough stuff to listen to but crucial in my work. During the last hour, all I could think about was getting into my car in the -25º weather and fumbling with my ipod apparatus to play "Waiting on the World to Change." I can't explain why I wanted to hear that song but listening to it, I thought "our world is about to change but what will really change about this issue?" I could also vividly remember leaving class on the Thursday before election day and saying goodnight to the professor. He said "see you next week" and I said "you know, the world will be a different place the next time I see you." He replied "let's hope so." This past Tuesday, January 20, 2009, the world has, in fact, changed. Not only was President Barack Obama sworn in, he has already made strides on the economy and eliminating the use of torture. While President Obama stated that his administration would be one of change, he also called upon each of us to work towards the change we want to see.

So now that we are no longer waiting on the world to change, what are we waiting for? What am I waiting on to call to schedule a shift at the hotline or to start mentoring or adult literacy tutoring again? Somehow, I feel like I am waiting on my world to change. I tell myself I'm waiting to graduate, to not work 12-hour days, to have more time. The truth is that my life won't get any less busy after I graduate and I have time to do those things now. So, I need to stop waiting on my world to change to change the world.

What are you doing to change the world? If the answer is "nothing," What are you waiting on?

Losing Momentum...

I started this post last Saturday. If I remember correctly, I was in some kind of mood last Saturday - not feeling like going to gym or to my book club meeting and loving the way my couch felt. I hadn't worked out at all the week prior except maybe a failed attempt to do an exercise video at home and my dance classes.

This week, I have mixed emotions. I'm feeling good. I made it to the gym today and yesterday and worked up a sweat in my dance classes last night. However, when I woke up this morning I was 2 pounds heavier than I was last week. There are a number of reasons for the weight gain - bloating, water weight, and my indulgence in all of the chocolate, cheese, and dulce de leche Hӓagen-Daz that I wanted. I'm a little sad about the 2 pounds but not discouraged. I have a plan for the week and I'm steadily ticking things off the list. I went to a play for the month on Sunday, went to happy hour with some friends last Friday, and caught up with a good friend last night. So while I haven't lost any weight, I am no longer losing momentum...