The 28 by 28 Challenge

Tomorrow, I will be 27 years old. Instead of thinking of how old that sounds or how close that is to 30, I am thinking of things that I want to do in the coming year. I have started a list of 28 things that I hope to accomplish by the time I turn 28. The list includes professional goals, weight loss and physical fitness goals which I am determined to accomplish. However, I am most excited about the things that I believe will help me to become a better friend and more well-rounded person. I'm excited to learn to cook more dishes, to take a dance class and to jump out of a plane. I'm most nervous and excited to call at least one friend per week. I know that sounds so simple to most people and it is probably something most people do anyway but I don't. Another way of silencing myself. These past few days have caused me to reflect on a few relationships that I have and what I have or haven't done to maintain them. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with people, hearing about their lives, and being heard.

The list is located on the right of the blog. I will try to write about each thing as I accomplish or work towards it. As you can see, the list is not complete. Things are still coming to me. If you have suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comments section. I'm not opposed to doing more than 28 things. In fact, the more I can accomplish by 28 the better.

If you are up for the challenge, create a list of your own and leave a few (or all) in the comments section.

Can't help but wonder...

what my silence says to them.

This period of reflection has caused me to think about two people to whom I haven't spoken in a while. One has been a very important person in my life. We have known each other for years and have seen each other through a number of changes. However, I felt that things weren't always as I felt they should be. I also realized that I needed time and space to come to terms with the relationship. I communicated this. We spoke a couple of times after this but that was over a year ago. The other person, I stopped speaking to more recently, without communicating any reason. As the holiday season approaches and as I have more time to devote to reflecting on these relationships, I have been thinking about reaching out to them. Finally. So, what's stopping me? I am still sorting out what I want a relationship with these two people to look like. I am still questioning whether I am able to maintain the type of boundaries needed to manage these relationships. Also, I'm now wondering what they must be thinking. If silence is in fact sound, what has my silence communicated to them? How will that silence affect their ability to hear my voice when I choose to use it?

While these are questions that I don't have the answers to, I can hope that they have remained the people that I know them to be and that they will be open, patient, and understanding. As I work to figure out how to rebuild and maintain a friendship with them, I hope that my silence does not/has not become too loud.

So much to be THANKFUL for!

It is rare for me to actually sit down and reflect upon the things for which I am thankful. I asked my clients to do this today so it is only right that I do so. This past year or so has brought some hard times but also many blessing. Here are some that come to mind.

I am thankful for...

• a space all my own to share my thoughts and feelings.
• a shared space to fellowship with some of the most brilliant women I know.
• time and space to reflect on friendships and relationships.
• friends like my bff and the bad black girls who are supportive, honest, and real.
• the ability to workout, move TVs and climb my three flights of stairs.
• renewed faith in the political process.
• finally having a President that I voted for.
• a scholarship and an assistantship that have allowed me to focus on my internship and insulated me (kinda) from the financial crisis.
• lower gas prices.
• reflections of myself that I see in others.
• improvement in my ability to say no.
• my personal commitment to improve my emotional and physical health and to build better relationships.
  
• warranties for electronics.
• my home with all the necessities and a few luxuries.
• my car.
• my family.
• my grandmother.
• little cousins that want to be like me and a legacy I am proud to pass on to them.
• insight and growth.
• the understanding, patience and support of those around me.

Also, I think it is important to look toward the future. Even though my clients didn't get to this part, there are a few things that I hope I will be able to say I am thankful for this time next year such as...

• completing my Master's degree.
• having a job that I enjoy.
• having repaired those friendships and relationships that I have stepped away from.
• stronger and healthier relationships.
• a sustained commitment to personal improvement.
• a clearer vision for my life.
• spiritual growth.
• having made a difference in the lives of my clients.
• passing my licensure exam.
• family, friends, and loved ones.

These are just a few of the things that I am thankful for and that I hope to accomplish in the next year. So, what are you thankful for this holiday season?

Just Getting My Feet Wet

I just finished my practicum experience and by mid-June, God willing, I will have my degree. When I started this program, I felt like I knew it all. I fell in love with counseling in undergrad and volunteered there and at home. Over the last few months, I realized I don't know anything. That doesn't mean that I didn't have valuable experiences or that I haven't learned a lot in my program but nothing could have prepared me for this experience. My professors were serious when they said this is when you start to think you have no idea what you are doing and you're right. Then, you start to get it...

This quarter I have met some of the strongest and most resilient children I've ever seen. To those who don't know their stories, they are just some bad ass kids. To me they are resourceful survivors. They've made it through horrible situations that still haunt them in their sleep. I've gained the trust of some and others have yet to open up. I don't blame them. I too question whether I'm ready and prepared to help them adjust their load and strong enough not to try to carry it for them. These children challenged me in innumerable ways already. Their stories have made me question humanity but their strength has restored my faith. I'm more than ready to work harder than I ever have.

I'm usually glad for the quarter to end. We usually get a break from now until after the new year. However, I get no break this time. In fact starting on my birthday, I'll start going to my site 4-5 days per week until June instead of 2. I'll take on more clients or spend more time with the ones that I have. Do I need a break? Yes, but I'm excited about the time that I will spend with them. I'm glad to know that I can listen to them and sometimes that's all they need. I'm looking forward to helping them defy the odds and reach their goals. I'm ready to jump in head first but I'm glad I had time to get my feet wet.

It's been a long time...

but thanks to my bbgs over in The Common Room I have returned to the blogosphere.

The past few weeks have been rough - interning, working, family stuff and feeling like there is no way I could get every/anything done. However, things are looking up and I'm glad to be back. Here are a few life updates that may or may not lead to later elaboration:

1. Barack Hussein Obama will be our 44th President.
2. I will finish my practicum hours tomorrow and officially be done on Tuesday. (This actually means more work after Tuesday but its a milestone nonetheless.)
3. My grandmother is home from the hospital/rehabilitation centers.
4. I bought tickets to D.C. to celebrate Barack Hussein Obama becoming the 44th President.
5. I need to figure out the process to get tickets for the actual event.
   
6. I lost a couple more pounds over the last few weeks.
7. I have some of the best friends on Earth. I just wish I could see them more often.
8. I recently became self-conscious about my use of commas. Can someone give me a grammar lesson?
   

I know that was completely random but the silence has, once again, been broken.